Dear Santa,
Today I'll write my list out-
It really isn’t much-
Maybe just a phone call,
A picture, letter, or such.
Its only been a month,
Plus a few days more,
Since the day I saw them take
My baby out the door.
I swore I wouldn't cry,
and for days I didn't dare.
I knew that he understood,
I know he knew I cared.
But this year my list will be different,
No CDs, candles, or clothes,
I only want one thing from you,
And that's to let him know I love him so....
Perhaps this isn't an order
That you can fill yourself,
So maybe you can ask God
If he can offer a little help.
After all He sent the angels
That comfort my little man,
So maybe he could ease my fears-
I've done all I can.
So now I'll close this letter
With a thank you, and a please,
Send my boy a piece of my heart
Because this Christmas he won't be with me.
Love Always,
A Birth-Mother
Big hugs for you. I found your blog from a comment that you left on a friend's blog. I am an adult adoptee (my situation is different then your son's, I was apprehended due to abuse). I am totally in awe of birth mothers. The love you have for your children is amazing. I have a niece that is a birth mom. I wish I had been there for her during placement (she is in Utah and I am in Canada). I also have a friend who made an adoption plan for twins (they are now in their 20s), it was through her that I first learned of open adoption. Are you able to have an open adoption? I wish my adoption had been open, with at least contact with my siblings, I missed them but in the 70s there was no way there was going to be contact.
ReplyDeleteI pray that you find peace. I am told by other birth moms that it comes eventually.
Again, hugs and I hope you had a good Christmas. The atonement is an amazing gift that I have used in my life.
Margaret
Dearest Margaret, thank you so much for your comment. I am blessed to have placed my son in an open adoption. His parent's are wonderful people and I receive lots of pictures from them. We keep in contact through email. I am truly blessed. Have you thought about trying to find your siblings? Did your niece place through a private agency, or through LDS Family Services? I might know her. I placed through LDS Family Services. Please keep in touch and thank you, again, so much for your comment. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteI have been reunited with my birth family for about 14 years now. It is nice to have some of the missing pieces filled in. I do not have a relationship with my birth mother, it is not healthy for me to at this time. I remember the abuse too vividly.
ReplyDeleteI am so happy to hear that you are in an open adoption, I truly believe that it is best for any adoptee.
My niece placed through LDS social services about 5 years ago. Not sure how much she keeps in touch with the group. Her little girl was at her wedding and now Kira has 2 little girls that she gets to parent. Kira told me that my adoption was the reason she finally decided on adoption, she knew it could be a positive experience.
On facebook there is a private group of LDS birth moms, adoptive parents and me (I think I am the only adoptee), not very active but you may wish to join.
Blessings to you for a wonderful 2010.
WOW, you have a way with words that is amazing. I LOVE LOVE LOVE this poem.
ReplyDeleteOh, Savannah, I wish this was my own work, but it is written by a woman named Patty Savol. I do writed my own poetry and maybe one day I'll post something. Thank you so much for your comments. I love to hear the perspective that adoption parent's experience.
ReplyDelete