It's been so long since I've posted anything. A quick recap of the last couple of months. I turned 26 in February. The love of my life turned 26 the beginning of this month (I know, I'm a cougar apparently) and his beautiful pixie-of-a-daughter turned 6 a couple days later. There have been lots of birthdays. For those of you who didn't know, and why would you because it's been decades since I last posted, Mango and I are dating again. If only the simple words of that sentence could convey the immense joy that feels my heart at that statement. I love my Mango and I'm the luckiest girl in the world to have him in my life. My baby boy is thriving. He's still chunkier than ever, though now that he is moving and walking and terrorizing the house and turning it on end and keeping his mother on her toes with cleaning after him, his chunk is now leaning out. His smile is still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and I can still hear his laugh in my head. I am grateful to his parents for sending me pictures and giving me updates. I love getting the texts that his mom sends me every now and then letting me know how everyone is on their end. I am a blessed woman.
I am now an official member of a roller derby league. I am a member of the Happy Valley Derby Darlins, which is a brand new league. We have had about 5 practices is all and I am having a blast with it! It's nice to be surrounded with girls that like to play as rough as the boys, it makes you feel normal. We have our first fundraiser coming up at the end of this month and I'm freaking out trying to come up with an idea as to little knicknacks I can make to sell at the fundraiser. I think I'm going to make little fridge magnets. You know the ones that are a clear marble like... thing with cute pictures underneath? Yeah, how is that for a description...? That perfectly explains how crafty I am not. Anyway, I went to this craft store and found some cute images I can use as the magnet picture, they are Steam Punk style and I love that style. It's an awesome style and one that I think will be interesting to the type of clientele that will frequent the fundraiser. Is this post thrilling for you? haha... wow, my life has slowed down greatly it feels like even though I swear I'm never home anymore.
I have started hcg again. Today is my second day on the 500 calorie diet and I must say I feel more capable this time around. Before, I felt like I obsessed over the food that I couldn't have, but now... I don't feel like I have that obsession anymore and that's a liberating thing. Then again, I am only 2 days into it, and I'm doing a 40 day cycle, so will see what song I'll be singing in 20 days. Mango is supporting me in this. In fact, he is going off of sugar... which is hard core for this man who has an addiction to pop tarts. I love him. I'm doing this with Beauty, so we are doing it together which helps, so that we can be a support to one another. My dear friend whom I have not mentioned yet in this blog... we'll call him Voodoo-Man because he knows things he shouldn't, haha, he is also supporting me and Beauty, as he is also saying goodbye to sugar for the time that we are doing this. I know amazing people. I am so lucky to have such supportive people in my life.
I don't know what road this blog is going to take. I feel like it's only natural that the blog shift to something else, which is why I haven't written in so long. For the longest time, this blog has been about my journey through open adoption and my role as a birth mother. While I will always be a birth mother, I am not going to let that role define my life... that role has blessed my life, but as all birth mothers come to understand, I would imagine, at some point that title no longer defines you the way that it has up until in no longer does. It's not a negative thing, but for however long you need it to, that is your identity because you are living it. I feel like I have entered a new place now and that's what is supposed to happen. So, I can't promise that my posts from here on out will have anything to do with Open Adoption. If you are here reading this blog simply for that fact, then I apologize to disappoint you. Thank you for being a part of that part of my life and I hope you stay tuned to see where I go next because, all in all, life is a process of steps to be taken and the scenery changes as you progress and sometimes you'll visit the places you've already been because you miss them...
I used to be afraid of where it was that I was going, but I'm not anymore and I look forward to see what comes next. That's a place that we all need to get to. So, I hope you stick around and come along for the ride because I've appreciated your presence thus far.
