What time is it?

I have to wake up in 3 hours and I haven't slept, yet. I can't sleep. I have so many thoughts running through my head. I want to be married and I want to be pregnant again. I don't know how to not be pregnant. I felt calm while I was pregnant and now I just feel anxious... anxious all the time. I don't sleep and when I do, it isn't deep sleep, in fact I wake up in the morning even more tired than I was the night before. I'm exhausted and too worked up to calm down to drift into slumber and it's maddening. I have to go to work tomorrow to work with client's who are in high conflict divorce cases and trying to royally screw their ex because, Lord knows why, and they feel justified so no amount of reasoning them through their idiocy will work... not even the fact that their poor innocent children who did not have a say in anything that is going wrong in their life are being affected by their parent's anger and bitterness towards their other parent. I need a new job. I need a guy that will stick around and not use me, but love me instead. I need to move on, but the thought of moving on makes my stomach ache because it feels like abandonment. I miss my baby boy. I want to kiss the top of his head and stroke his face tenderly with my fingers as he drifts off into sleep. I want to feel him sleeping on my chest as I breathe in his scent of earthy cinnamon maple. I want to hold him again. I miss my baby boy.