We Are Strength

I have been thinking a lot about education and my past schooling and how many times I have re-declared my major. When I started University back in high school, I was a pre-med major. I wanted to become a nurse. My Great-Grandmother was a nurse and I've always looked up to her. She wanted to be a nurse for the Army but was too young at the time of enrollment. She became a nurse and did many wonderful things over the course of her career, including bringing about the kinder treatment of patients in the State Hospital who, at the time, were not treated fairly in comparison to your regular hospital patients. I have always looked up to my Great-Grandmother for all the amazing things she did in her life and I always wanted to make the world a better place like she did and so I wanted to become a nurse. I didn't have the understanding at the age of 16 like I do now, that you can affect great change in the world in other ways than nursing. It turned out that I don't like the sight of other people's blood, as I kept passing out during my clinical hours whenever I would see someone else's bodily fluids. That's when I changed my major to English Literature with an emhpasis in Secondary Education and Creative Writing.

I was 18 years old when I figured that I would affect great change in the world by educating the young mind's of tomorrow's generation. It was a great idea, I thought. As I began to metriculate in to the Bachelor's Program, however, I realized that I am too much of an idealist for that career and that, ultimately, I would burn myself out trying to teach my students to love and appreciate English as I do and, quite frankly, not everyone is an English nut like I am. Not everyone takes immense pleasure in analyzing a piece of text 8 different ways using specific critical theories to understand said text. That, and I hate the public school system with a passion that is next to spiritual observation. I could not ever bring myself to work for a broken system that has no moral qualms about handing out condoms to young adolescent's, but won't teach them the concept of abstinence because it takes away the rights of the student's to choose for themselves, and it's better to be safe than sorry so, pass out the condoms. I ask you one question, what is wrong with teaching students sexual education and safety AS WELL AS abstinence, that way at least they will be as informed about the matter as one can be in such circumstances. I would hate myself if I worked for a system I knew was broken. I also do not possess the serenity that is needed to take abuse from parent's whose children are "perfect in every way", and regardless of the fact that they are truant and failing my class, it's my fault and a "personal vendetta of mine to make their child fail at life". Take responsibility parent's and understand that, teenagers are lazy and often-times don't function properly and it is not up to the public school system to rear respectful and successful human beings, it's your's, you are the parent. And, you really want a system that is actively handing out condoms to your 15 year old son/daughter, to be in charge of making them succeed in today's sick, twisted world. Take accountability and don't blame the teachers.

I am now considering a career in Social work, but before I re-declare my major, yet again, I am going to get some experience in the field as a volunteer to see if it is something I really want to do. I am lucky to be able to participate in being trained as a Rape Crisis Volunteer. It is a team of 32 individuals who meet with people in crisis who have just been made victim to the horribly personal violation that is rape. The training is a mandatory 40 hours training through the state and I thought it was going to be really boring, but I have learned so much and am so thankful for what I have learned so far. This week is the first week of training and I have learned so much, all of which I am going to be sharing in upcoming posts, but one thing I want to mention now before I end this post (because I am at work and should probably be working?) is that, regardless of the trials we face and the things that happen to us because of someone else's decision, we are not weak. Anyone who is the victim of a crime will understand me when I say that, you will try to understand why this horrible thing was done to you and what you could have done differently to have prevented it from happening. Those thoughts kill the soul. If you have been a victim of a crime, it wasn't your fault it happened to you because it was something that was DONE to you. You survived it, you are a survivor and there is so much empowerment that comes from that statement. True, you've been thrown into a path you never would have chosen for yourself and now you've got to adapt to the new life that is your's because you don't feel like you are the same person, but you survived. Regardless of whatever you had to do to survive, you survived. This message isn't solely meant for only those who have been victim's of crime, but for anyone that has ever faced a moment in their life where they have asked themselves the questions, "Why did this happen to me? Where do I go from here? How do I make it out of this? What have I done?" Grief is just that: a curve ball thrown by life, you finding yourself in a situation you would have never planned to be in and then trying to figure out how to get back to normal, whatever normal is. We are all survivors and there is nothing wrong with that. Survival is strength. We are strength.