Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Peace
My heart is full tonight. One year ago I didn't think I would make it to this moment. And, I did. It's a moment of calm that's been a long time coming and it is full of reflection and memory. The night is quiet and my lamp is softly bright and my thoughts surround my baby tonight. He is beautiful. He is healthy. He is happy. He is Joy personified. He is safe. He is loved. His smile... is Heaven. His laugh is music to my soul. I miss him so much, but it's different now; it's survivable now. I am blessed to be his birthmother. I am blessed to have known such perfection in a world filled with sorrow. My baby boy's smile is Joy. In a world of sorrow, he is Joy. This moment is beautiful. To those of you reading this who are birthmothers, birthfathers, or first families- or anyone experiencing sorrow for that matter- who are wondering if you will ever feel peace again, rest assured Peace will come and it will be a quiet moment of reflection. i promise, in time, it will come.
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Thank you for this post. Tonight especially.
ReplyDeleteMy little guy is two months old today. Just seeing a picture of him brings me so much joy and sadness all mixed together that I don't know which to feel.
Thanks, this post really hit home for me tonight.
I am so happy for open adoptions. I can understand the mixed emotions about seeing pictures and stuff but with the unknown there isn't any peace to be found. Well, not until reunion could I find the peace. Happy birthday to your sweet baby.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it comes and goes, but I have been feeling at peace recently - it has been a while, so I forgot how it feels. If we don't ever have children - I am now peacefully okay with that; perhaps God has a different plan for us.
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ReplyDeleteritehere, I remember that feeling of not knowing what to feel but feeling everything all at once. It gets easier, I promise, but it's your timeline. Don't ever let anyone tell you what you should or should not be feeling. You are the author of your story. Your little guy is beautiful and so lucky to come from such an amazing woman. Whatever you choose to feel and whenever you choose to feel, feel it to it's full extent because that's the only way you'll understand what "it" is. You have vision, you had to in order to make the decision you did. Your baby boy is a lucky little guy to come from such an amazing woman. It gets easier, I promise. Blessed be.
ReplyDeleteKT, I know that whatever God has in store for you, you're going to be stellar at it. You are such an amazing woman and I appreciate your perspective so much. Thank you so much for your support and for your willingness to share your aspect of the world that is Adoption. God bless you.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love you! Always & Forever!
ReplyDeleteI love you also! :)
ReplyDeletefinding people like you helps grant me peace....
ReplyDeleteJenny,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for posting on my blog. If you ever want to talk about anything just post me a message asking to talk and I'll give you my email. Take care.