Something Wonderful

I can't believe how fast time can get away. I've been meaning to write about a particular event for a while now, but needed some time to organize my thoughts and then before I know it, June is here! As you all know, Baby Boy's adoption was finalized on May 19, 2010; what a special day that was for Baby Boy and his wonderful family. That following weekend on Mayy 22, 2010, Baby Boy was sealed for all time and eternity to his parents and siblings in a temple not too far from where we all live. Baby Boy's family was very wonderful to allow my parents and myself to come to the temple for this occassion. My parents were able to view the sealing as it occurred and I waited in the waiting room because I was not able to attend the actual ceremony. I thought I would be extremely anxious the entire time and at first I was, but as I sat in that spiritual setting, I couldn't help but realize how peaceful I felt with all that was happening not too far from where I was sitting. I know that I've made the right decision in placing Baby Boy for adoption and I know that I chose the family that he was meant to be with... he was always meant to be their's. That doesn't mean I don't have difficult days still because I do, but in that half hour to forty minutes that I was sitting in the temple waiting room, the only thing I could feel was immense joy for my baby boy and his eternal family, that and a calm peace that it's okay for me to move on.

After the sealing, I met both Baby Boy's sets of adoptive grandparents and other extended family. They are all wonderful people. My parents and I were then invited over to have dinner with all the extended family. I got to hold Baby Boy all afternoon. It was wonderful. He is perfection and so squishy and rolley and smiley and giggly. I got to feed him a bottle and rock him and cuddle him and... I will never forget that afternoon.

The following day, May 23, 2010 Baby Boy was blessed at church. His adoptive father gave the blessing and it was beautiful. My father wasw included in the circle of priesthood holders. Some of my siblings attended the blessing as well and it was really good for them to see Baby Boy surrounded by all the love of his new family. After Baby Boy's blessing, his mother asked me if I would like to hold him and of course I said yes. I looked down at my baby boy dressed all in white and couldn't help but cry at how beautiful he is and how happy I am for him that is part of such an amazing family and that my family was invited to participate in this very special day of his. I fed him another bottle and he fell asleep in my arms and I felt the peace again that I've only ever felt with him. My entire pregnancy was blessed with a calm that was so tangible to me and it was the calm that comes along with this little boy... and I felt that again and I watched him sleep. My family was invited over to a relative's house of Baby Boy's adoptive parents to mingle with everyone and have time to spend with Baby Boy and it was an absolutely wonderful afternoon. I was able to hold Baby Boy all afternoon again and as I was feeding him another bottle he pee'd and it leaked out his diaper and all over me, but I didn't mind (gross, I know!) because my baby boy pee'd on me. I laughed so hard, he also pee'd on my oldest sister, and she laughed as well.

When it was time to go it was difficult to leave him again. I got pictures of my family holding him and of him with his litte birth cousin who is just 7 weeks older and pictures of me and him that I will always treasure. And, I know I'll see him again because his parent's are wonderful people and don't discourage contact. It was hard to leave him again, but I also know better the people that are his family and that's calming in itself. That weekend was the best weekend of my life thus far because for 2 days I was able to hold the child of my heart. I didn't wash either of the blouses I wore for a week after because they smelled like him... spicy and sweet at the same time and earthy... I love his smell.