Inspiration

Last year was a year of transition and growth and slow awakening. And through all of that I learned what it is I want to do. I want to be the catalyst to affect change in young women who are in a vulnerable spot in life and at a cross-roads.

It's hard to be a girl and I've done just about everything wrong that there is to do wrong and I know what it's like to not have a clue as to who you are or the good that you are capable of doing. I know what it's like to feel unworthy of love. I know what it's like to want so badly to be accepted that you will lose your identity in order to become who it is that other's want you to become in order for you to "belong". I know what it's like to feel like you are being buried in confusion and not able to claw your way to the top... it's all head noise; you are desperately seeking oqygen only you can't make it out of the ground that is pounding down upon you. Head noise telling you that you aren't good enough, pretty enough, worthy enough, that you aren't loveable, that "if you were something other than what you are then you would be great, but you aren't so you are worthless", and that you don't deserve happiness because of the horrible things you've done. It's horrible head noise.

My mission is to teach girls experiencing all of the horrible head noise that they are worthwhile and that they don't need to be who other's want them to be in order to be deserving of love and happiness because their individual identity is sacred and no one should make them feel otherwise. I want them to know that the only person they need to worry about "belonging" with is themselves because insecurity comes from not knowing who you are or fighting against who it is you want to become, rather than who the voices say you should be.

I want them to know that love will come to them and that love accepts them and they don't have to change themselves in order to be accepted. I want them to know that their top priority is to love themselves before they let anyone else who isn't worthy of them love them. I want them to know that once they love and accept themselves that the other stuff will naturally fall in to place, they'll know who they are and they'll recognize their self worth and they won't let those who don't deserve their love abuse their love. I want them to know that anyone who tells them that they aren't good enough, pretty enough, worthy enough, loveable or deserving of love, undeserving of happiness, or just shy of greatness... that those people don't deserve their love. It's hard to be a girl, this is something I know, and if my story can help some girl recognize the lies in the head noise so that she can appreciate herslef and love herself, then that's all that matters.

I'm excited about 2011. I feel like I have been given insight to the direction I'm supposed to take and I can't wait to figure it all out. I can't wait to see what happens this year.