Real Men Wear Heals and the Dedicated One's Wear Stilletos

I feel like the title of this blog is something that should be stitched on to a pillow, you know, like the wise words, " You're out with a guy... and suddenly everything he says sound brilliant. Hairy legs are your only link to reality." Very wise words, indeed. Words of wisdom such as the one just mentioned, need to be passed along from generation to generation. One thing I will definitely share with my daughters when they ask, "Mother, how you can tell if a man in genuine and loves you and is willing to dedicate his life to you?" I will respond, "Real men wear heals and the dedicated one's wear stilletos." Enough said. If a man is willing to put on a pair of high heals to prove that he supports whatever wacky thing you've gotten yourself into, then he's a good man. But, if a man is willing to strap on a pair of stilletos and parade around like a newborn giraffe to prove his devotion to you and what is important to you, well my dear readers... he is dedicated. And, as for the ones that wear wedge heals, they're learning well... but just not there yet.

You may think that I'm joking about this analogy, but I'm not. And, yes, if it would make you feel better, then we could attach some symbolism to what the high-heal, stilleto, and wedge heal mean... I will allow you to do that, dear reader of mine, if it makes you feel better. I, however, will attach no such symbolism to these various shoes.

As all of you may know, I volunteer for a rape crisis team. Today, we had our 2010 Awareness Against Sexual Assault Walk. The theme was, "Walk a Mile in Her Shoes," and while the event was open to anyone, it was specifically targeted towards men who were willing to wear women's heals and walk a mile. It was really neat. The Walk was sponsored byt the Utah County Health Department along with The Center for Women and Children in Crisis, which is who I volunteer for. We had a huge turn out, better than we had hoped for. Look for it on the news and youtube. It was neat to be a part of an effort that involved the entire community and to be there and feel the support for a safer community that was so tangible. I think that oftentimes people don't think that sexual assault is a part of their community, and there are good reasons for this belief as not many rape's are reported because they are so hard to prosecute, that, and more often than not, the victim personally knew their attacker. You would not believe the statistics, folks. Rape and Sexual Assault happen everywhere. There is no criminal-book guideline that is followed for a large or small or close-knit a community has to be in order for this type of crime to permeate it... it happens everywhere.

As various communities throughout the world, we OWE it to the victim's of these deeply personal crimes to take a stand against this type of violence and openly speak out about it so that the stigma that goes along with this type of assault is obliterated. We need to start talking about it. We need to start advocating for those who have been victimized because of it- they usually don't speak out against it because of the stigma that comes along with it- and if the victim isn't speaking out, we need to speak out for the victim. You can't even begin to imagine the type of trauma that is associated with this type of crime. Here is a staggering fact about rape. Rape is so traumatic for the victim involved, that the human brain CAN NOT even comprehend the event on it's own. Think about that for a second. Let those words sink in. Rape is so traumatic for the victim involved, that the human brain CAN NOT even comprehend the event on it's own. What that means, exactly, is a person who is brutally attacked in such a personal way, such as rape, cannot make sense of the trauma on their own... they cannot heal the emotional hurt that accompanies rape on their own. Now, imagine that this victim lives in a community that doesn't "talk about rape or make a public stand angainst sexual assault because sexual assault and rape are not a part of their community- those things don't happen where they live." Imagine being in a community where you are a victim and no one would believe you, and try imagining how you would make it through the trauma that was done to you.

Perhaps I should say it in a way that will resound with more people. Communities used to not have D.A.R.E programs that spoke out against the use of drugs and alcohol because, "Kids don't need to be taught to not use drugs and alcohol because in our community, kids don't drink or do drugs." Is that true? They don't call Utah County "Happy Valley" because we are the happiest people on the planet... there's a lot of meth in this valley. My point is, the logic behind not taking a stand against evil because it doesn't exist, doesn't work. It doesn't work.

I didn't want to go to the Walk today. I was too tired and I didn't want to get out of bed this morning at 6:30 to get ready. I am so glad I went, though. To be surrounded by men who were not embarassed to take a stand against sexual assault, and who even went beyond what they were asked to do and really made a spectacle of themselves to be noticed so that when people asked them why there were so many guys wearing dresses and women's heals walking around the mall, they could answer, "Because, in the time it took you to brush your teeth this morning, someone in America was raped, and I'm walking in women's heals and dress, because I am disgusted that that happened to someone and I don't want rape to be a part of my community"- to be a part of that, was well worth getting out of bed at 6:30, after only 3 hours of sleep. I took some pictures. I'll post them. I hope you enjoy.