Your story is different from all of the couples I have spotlighted so far. You already have biological children and are trying to adopt 3 sisters from Ukraine. When and how did you first learn about these girls?
A friend of mine had found New Horizons For Children, a christian orphan hosting charity. She was going to be hosting a boy from Latvia for the summer. She posted pictures of other orphans needing a host family. She posted a picture of the two girls who we ended up hosting and I immediately felt drawn to them in the picture. The girls are from Ukraine. Their sister stayed behind at the orphanage.
Tell us about your experience with International Adoption? What were your expectations going through this process? What did you not expect going through this process that has happened?
I expected it to be expensive. It actually hasn't been as costly to adopt three children as I originally had expected. The second and third siblings don't cost as much as the initial sibling. But it still is a lot of money. We are expecting the total to be about $45,000 that we need.
I wasn't expecting that we would be spending five to six weeks in Ukraine. I am looking forward to it, but it is a long time for us to be away from our bio children and for my husband to be away from work. My husband is hoping to be able to be in Ukraine the whole time to help me with the girls.
I hadn't expected the girls to be so wonderful and able to adapt to our family so well. They just fit right in.
When was the attachment connection between you and your husband and children first achieved with these 3 beautiful sisters from Ukraine?
We had been wondering how uncomfortable the hour long drive home from the airport would be when we went to pick them up at first. But we need not have worried about it at all. L, the older one, connected with my kids right away and did her best to communicate. The girls speak no English and we speak no Russian/Ukrainian! S, the younger one, did well when I let her play Angry Birds on my kindle. She also connected with my kids.
We knew from the first week that the girls were so good and absolutely needed to be adopted. The only thing I knew about their family at that point is that there were 7 siblings, the oldest a boy and the rest girls, with the two oldest being 20 and 19 - therefore too old to be adopted. I thought we might adopt the others and just imagined that we'd have to stay home for a year with five new children because of how crazy it was adjusting to only two at that point! But later we came to learn that two of the siblings had passed away leaving only the two girls and their sister who had been left behind at the orphanage.
The really strong attachment for me came on the 4th of July, 6 days into the experience. We had gotten up early in the morning to go to Provo and run the 1 mile race. My daughter was carrying a cooler by herself and L ran to catch up with her to help my daughter carry the cooler. I just had a strong feeling come over me that we were to adopt them. Then, during the 1 mile race, I was walking with S and my five year old son. My son became separated from me and S held his hand bringing him to me saying, "Mama." She was looking out for him. I got that same strong feeling that we were to adopt them.
Tell us about the sisters.
L (13) is very social and friendly. She loves music and to dance. She is good at dancing. L had never ridden a bike before. She picked up on biking quickly and it became one of her favorite activities. She also enjoyed playing the piano which she hadn't done before either. I gave her a few lessons. She always begged me to play the main theme music from The Phantom of the Opera on the piano! L idolizes my daughter in law. L was always very excited to visit her. L cooked a couple of Ukrainian dishes for us. She loves getting together with other people. She is also pretty daring.
S (10) laughs a lot and is very happy. The only time she was sad was when she fell while biking. I loved to watch her confidence develop throughout her stay with us. I snuggled a lot with S and she just ate it right up. S is afraid of deep water because she had an experience when she was with her birth family where she had been let go of in waves in the ocean. But she was brave enough to go boating and enjoyed it immensely.
Both sisters are intuitive and help others in need. They both fit in very well in our family. They both are generally happy. They both love babies. They both loved taking baths. One of my favorite memories was when they wondered what the button on the side of the tub was for and I told them to go ahead and push it. They did and pratically jumped out of the tub when the water jets started! After that they loved turning on the water jets.
They have a sister, D (12) who had been in the hospital when the New Horizons interview team was at their orphanage. Because the team didn't know of D's existence, D wasn't able to come. But L and S told us that she loves to laugh like S does. Both girls feel like our own bio children to both my husband and me. And we love their sister even without having met her because of them.
What has been the biggest struggle in preparing to adopt these girls?
A big struggle has been know that my children would be okay with the adoption of the girls. I have talked to them and to other adoptive parents, along with praying about it. I know that as long as my husband and I stay on top of things, that my children will be okay along with our three new ones.
At this point my biggest struggle is coming up with the money for the adoption. We did not go into the hosting program planning to adopt. Our hearts were open to adoption, but I had been told that the girls were practically unadoptable because of all their siblings in different institutions. We thought that at least we could make a difference in their lives by hosting them for five weeks. As we learned that they were adoptable we became very open to adopting them. We hadn't saved any money for adoption. And, in fact, we had spent a lot of money on hosting them which included paying for them to get here, taking them to the dentist and eye doctor and buying them things like suitcases, clothing, toys, etc. But I don't have fear about raising enough money because I know 100% that this is what God wants for these girls. I have seen the hand of God throughout this whole experience - from choosing the girls to even now
What is the time-frame for the completion of the adoption?
We are just about done with the home study. At this point it should take about two-three months to be at the point where we travel to Ukraine. We expect to be in Ukraine for about 5 1/2 weeks and then we bring the girls home!
I understand you are fundraising in order to complete the adoption of these sisters. What type of fundraising are you doing and where can we donate? What will the donations be covering?
We have had yard-sales, bake sales and a $10 on 10/10 fundraiser. I have also been selling things on Facebook indoor yard-sales We have t-shirt sales ongoing. Currently I have been doing a Cartwheeling to Ukraine fundraiser which ends tomorrow. There is a story behind that one. L had a hard 1 1/2 days about a week into the trip. My husband and I worked with her and gave her as much love as we possibly could. She was getting through it and in the evening we took the two girls biking. We stopped at a church parking lot where the girls proceeded to do cartwheels. L wanted Jay to do one so he did. I stood there watching and just knew that if I did one too, it would really help with my bonding with L. So I channeled my inner 11-year-old and managed to do one. It really did do wonders for L and me. So we created a fundraiser where people pledge a certain amount per cartwheel that I manage to do in a row tomorrow. Next week we will start a 2nd cartwheel fundraiser where people send in pictures of themselves doing cartwheels along with a $10 donation. We will post the pictures on our Facebook page and will have several prizes for several people who get the most likes. We will have a $12 on 12/12/12 fundraiser also.
People can donate through the donate button on our blog: www.
Anything else you would like to add that these questions didn't cover?
I just want to add that while we still have a long way to go to raise the amount of money that we need, we have appreciated all the support that our friends, the community and total strangers are giving us. We will be eternally grateful to them.Do you have a blog that you would like to share with those reading this today? If so, what is the address of your blog?
We have a Triple Treasures From Ukraine facebook page also at https://www.facebook.com/
KSL ran a story recently at http://www.ksl.com/?nid=1009&
The Daily Herald ran a story just before we hosted at http://www.heraldextra.com/
My friend, who had hosted the Latvian boy, put together a wonderful video of the girls and our family here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
Hi Kathryn,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to comment instead of email, but I could not find a email link on this site! My husband and I are in the process of adopting (home visit is this Tuesday) and I heard from a group on facebook that you feature couples who are adopting in your blog? My email is rstewart@liberty.edu I would like more information on this! Thanks so much!! Rachel Stewart
Rachel! Welcome to my blog. I would love to give you more information and get to know you better. I will e-mail you this week. Thank you for expressing interest! I'm so excited for your home-visit! You will have to keep us all informed on how that goes.
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