I am really excited to know about New Horizons for Children, which is a nationwide orphan ministry that focuses on finding American (and Puerto Rican) families to host children from Latvia and Ukraine. They are looking for families to host these angelic children for 4-5 weeks over the course of the summer and Christmas season. All of the children that they place are between the ages of 6-16 years old, and not all are adoptable. Because of their older ages, the children that this agency places are least likely to be adopted because they are older than the desired adoptable age. All of these children are looking for a place in the world where they "fit" or feel like they belong and are loved, and with people who love them.
For more information on this agency and the children they represent, click the following link:
http://www.newhorizonsforchildren.org/about-us/
I've been thinking a lot about this agency since I interviewed the Jones family. If you remember, they are currently working with this agency to adopt 3 sisters from Ukraine. As previously mentioned, not all of the children represented by this agency are adoptable. A major part of this agency's work is to provide these children with the opportunity to learn life skills that they haven't yet learned in the orphanages they live in. I think the best way to make it relate-able is to compare it to the Foster Care system in America; while this system is great and helpful to millions of children who have no other option in life, once these children turn 18 they are released out into the world to be on their own... even if they aren't completely ready for that yet. The children that are represented through this agency, are put out on their own at the age of 16. Can you imagine how scary that would be? And the options they have once they are turned out are scary. A lot of the young women turn to prostitution as a form of surviving.
The Christmas season is upon us and we are all in the process of hunting down bargain deals for gifts for our loved ones and a lot of us are starting the shopping season early than the major Black Friday door-buster sales after Thanksgiving. I wonder though, if there are some families out there who may consider a different kind of Christmas this year in putting all their gift money towards hosting a child from Eastern Europe. There are currently 200 children who are in need of finding a host family. Think of all the blessings that would go along in hosting these children. Not only would they learn so much from you, but can you imagine the lesson in gratitude and love that you can learn from them? I wish I was in a financial position to host a child myself, I wouldn't think twice about it. I ask that you strongly consider it.
If you are not financially able to host one of these children, there is still a way that you can help. For the next tow days, ALL purchases made through the link below will benefit New Horizons for Children to the tune of 7.5% (it reverts to 4% beginning November 1st). Now is the time to make those online purchases you've been considering, and at the same time helping an agency that benefits hundreds of orphans in Eastern Europe find security in this world. Let's help these children by making our online Holiday purchases through the following link:
http://www.amazon.com/?_encoding=UTF8&camp=213733&creative=393193&linkCode=shr&tag=n0680-20
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
"Little Miss" by Sugarland
This song has been on my mind for a while. I bought this c.d. a couple of months ago and have listened to it a TON. This song is one of those songs that, for me, once I heard it, it just completely resonates with me on a deep level.
This song is for all women/girls out there- regardless of your age- who have ever given up on love, who feel like they are about to give up on life, who feel like they have to always be strong because there is no one else looking out for them. This song is for those who don't want to be seen or "worried" about anymore, who feel like no matter what they do they just make a bigger mess of things, who give everything they have to everyone else and are still lonely, and who are so exhausted because their personal best is never good enough. This song is for those who keep going and going without rest, who are taken advantage of, who have lost so much and feel like they continue to lose everything. This song is for all those who have ever been pushed to be what everyone else wants or thinks they should be and have lost themselves in the process. This song is for anyone who smiles even when they are distressed because they can never let their guard down; for those who are afraid to let people in and so they keep everyone on the outside.
For those of you who connect with what was said above and who connect to this song, you are strong. Life is hard, but we make it. All the losses you've felt will only make us appreciate when we win. For as hard as it is today, you've just got to believe that it can get better. And that's hard, but it will get better; I promise you. There is always a brand new start, a way to be reborn, and when you least expect it is when you will be ready to open up and bless the world with who you are. You are loved.
You are lovable and you just need to find those people in life who you can trust to define your love-ability. And for those who make you doubt in yourself and feel less than you are worth; you let them go and you rebuild. Don't trust your self-worth with just anybody; they have to have proven that they are deserving of it. Once you understand that you are lovable and capable of loving, then you will be able to better see who deserves to be a part of your life. You are loved. Don't doubt it, not even for a second.
Lyrics: 'Little miss "done on love", little miss "I give up", little miss "I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore". Little miss "checkered dress", little miss "one big mess", little miss "I'll take less when I always give so much more". It's alright, it's alright, it's alright. Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win. It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it'll be alright again.
This song is for all women/girls out there- regardless of your age- who have ever given up on love, who feel like they are about to give up on life, who feel like they have to always be strong because there is no one else looking out for them. This song is for those who don't want to be seen or "worried" about anymore, who feel like no matter what they do they just make a bigger mess of things, who give everything they have to everyone else and are still lonely, and who are so exhausted because their personal best is never good enough. This song is for those who keep going and going without rest, who are taken advantage of, who have lost so much and feel like they continue to lose everything. This song is for all those who have ever been pushed to be what everyone else wants or thinks they should be and have lost themselves in the process. This song is for anyone who smiles even when they are distressed because they can never let their guard down; for those who are afraid to let people in and so they keep everyone on the outside.
For those of you who connect with what was said above and who connect to this song, you are strong. Life is hard, but we make it. All the losses you've felt will only make us appreciate when we win. For as hard as it is today, you've just got to believe that it can get better. And that's hard, but it will get better; I promise you. There is always a brand new start, a way to be reborn, and when you least expect it is when you will be ready to open up and bless the world with who you are. You are loved.
You are lovable and you just need to find those people in life who you can trust to define your love-ability. And for those who make you doubt in yourself and feel less than you are worth; you let them go and you rebuild. Don't trust your self-worth with just anybody; they have to have proven that they are deserving of it. Once you understand that you are lovable and capable of loving, then you will be able to better see who deserves to be a part of your life. You are loved. Don't doubt it, not even for a second.
"Little Miss"
by Sugarland
Lyrics: 'Little miss "done on love", little miss "I give up", little miss "I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore". Little miss "checkered dress", little miss "one big mess", little miss "I'll take less when I always give so much more". It's alright, it's alright, it's alright. Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win. It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it'll be alright again.
It'll be alright again- I'm okay- it'll be alright again, I'm okay. It'll be alright again, I'm okay.
Little miss "do your best", little miss "never rest", little miss "be my guest, I'll make more anytime that it runs out". Little miss "you'll go far", little miss "hide your scars", little miss "who you are is so much more than you like to talk about". It's alright, it's alright, it's alright. Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win. It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it'll be alright again. It'll be alright again- I'm okay- it'll be alright again, I'm okay. It'll be alright again, I'm okay. Hold on, hold on, you are loved. Little miss "brand new start", little miss "do your part", little miss "big old heart beats wide open and she's ready now for love". It's alright, it's alright, it's alright. Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win. It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it'll be alright again. It'll be alright again- I'm okay- it'll be alright again, I'm okay. It'll be alright again, I'm okay.'
Little miss "do your best", little miss "never rest", little miss "be my guest, I'll make more anytime that it runs out". Little miss "you'll go far", little miss "hide your scars", little miss "who you are is so much more than you like to talk about". It's alright, it's alright, it's alright. Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win. It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it'll be alright again. It'll be alright again- I'm okay- it'll be alright again, I'm okay. It'll be alright again, I'm okay. Hold on, hold on, you are loved. Little miss "brand new start", little miss "do your part", little miss "big old heart beats wide open and she's ready now for love". It's alright, it's alright, it's alright. Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win. It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it'll be alright again. It'll be alright again- I'm okay- it'll be alright again, I'm okay. It'll be alright again, I'm okay.'
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Hopeful Adoptive-Parent Spotlight: The Jones Family
I am really excited to introduce you all to the Jones family. They are a local family and are in the process of adopting 3 sisters from Ukraine. There story is different from the other adoption spotlights I've done on here and so the questions are different. Arin has provided us with a lot of information, as well as links to some blogs and news stories that have been done on her family. Read. Enjoy. And let's help raise funds to get these sisters back to Utah to be with their forever family. Also, the links to Arin's blogs have some beautiful pictures of these girls. Arin sent me some pictures but I was unable to upload/download(?) them to my blog. The girls are beautiful and happy and truly angelic. Enjoy!
Your story is different from all of the couples I have spotlighted so far. You already have biological children and are trying to adopt 3 sisters from Ukraine. When and how did you first learn about these girls?
A friend of mine had found New Horizons For Children, a christian orphan hosting charity. She was going to be hosting a boy from Latvia for the summer. She posted pictures of other orphans needing a host family. She posted a picture of the two girls who we ended up hosting and I immediately felt drawn to them in the picture. The girls are from Ukraine. Their sister stayed behind at the orphanage.
Tell us about your experience with International Adoption? What were your expectations going through this process? What did you not expect going through this process that has happened?
I expected it to be expensive. It actually hasn't been as costly to adopt three children as I originally had expected. The second and third siblings don't cost as much as the initial sibling. But it still is a lot of money. We are expecting the total to be about $45,000 that we need.
I wasn't expecting that we would be spending five to six weeks in Ukraine. I am looking forward to it, but it is a long time for us to be away from our bio children and for my husband to be away from work. My husband is hoping to be able to be in Ukraine the whole time to help me with the girls.
I hadn't expected the girls to be so wonderful and able to adapt to our family so well. They just fit right in.
When was the attachment connection between you and your husband and children first achieved with these 3 beautiful sisters from Ukraine?
We had been wondering how uncomfortable the hour long drive home from the airport would be when we went to pick them up at first. But we need not have worried about it at all. L, the older one, connected with my kids right away and did her best to communicate. The girls speak no English and we speak no Russian/Ukrainian! S, the younger one, did well when I let her play Angry Birds on my kindle. She also connected with my kids.
We knew from the first week that the girls were so good and absolutely needed to be adopted. The only thing I knew about their family at that point is that there were 7 siblings, the oldest a boy and the rest girls, with the two oldest being 20 and 19 - therefore too old to be adopted. I thought we might adopt the others and just imagined that we'd have to stay home for a year with five new children because of how crazy it was adjusting to only two at that point! But later we came to learn that two of the siblings had passed away leaving only the two girls and their sister who had been left behind at the orphanage.
The really strong attachment for me came on the 4th of July, 6 days into the experience. We had gotten up early in the morning to go to Provo and run the 1 mile race. My daughter was carrying a cooler by herself and L ran to catch up with her to help my daughter carry the cooler. I just had a strong feeling come over me that we were to adopt them. Then, during the 1 mile race, I was walking with S and my five year old son. My son became separated from me and S held his hand bringing him to me saying, "Mama." She was looking out for him. I got that same strong feeling that we were to adopt them.
Tell us about the sisters.
L (13) is very social and friendly. She loves music and to dance. She is good at dancing. L had never ridden a bike before. She picked up on biking quickly and it became one of her favorite activities. She also enjoyed playing the piano which she hadn't done before either. I gave her a few lessons. She always begged me to play the main theme music from The Phantom of the Opera on the piano! L idolizes my daughter in law. L was always very excited to visit her. L cooked a couple of Ukrainian dishes for us. She loves getting together with other people. She is also pretty daring.
S (10) laughs a lot and is very happy. The only time she was sad was when she fell while biking. I loved to watch her confidence develop throughout her stay with us. I snuggled a lot with S and she just ate it right up. S is afraid of deep water because she had an experience when she was with her birth family where she had been let go of in waves in the ocean. But she was brave enough to go boating and enjoyed it immensely.
Both sisters are intuitive and help others in need. They both fit in very well in our family. They both are generally happy. They both love babies. They both loved taking baths. One of my favorite memories was when they wondered what the button on the side of the tub was for and I told them to go ahead and push it. They did and pratically jumped out of the tub when the water jets started! After that they loved turning on the water jets.
They have a sister, D (12) who had been in the hospital when the New Horizons interview team was at their orphanage. Because the team didn't know of D's existence, D wasn't able to come. But L and S told us that she loves to laugh like S does. Both girls feel like our own bio children to both my husband and me. And we love their sister even without having met her because of them.
What has been the biggest struggle in preparing to adopt these girls?
A big struggle has been know that my children would be okay with the adoption of the girls. I have talked to them and to other adoptive parents, along with praying about it. I know that as long as my husband and I stay on top of things, that my children will be okay along with our three new ones.
At this point my biggest struggle is coming up with the money for the adoption. We did not go into the hosting program planning to adopt. Our hearts were open to adoption, but I had been told that the girls were practically unadoptable because of all their siblings in different institutions. We thought that at least we could make a difference in their lives by hosting them for five weeks. As we learned that they were adoptable we became very open to adopting them. We hadn't saved any money for adoption. And, in fact, we had spent a lot of money on hosting them which included paying for them to get here, taking them to the dentist and eye doctor and buying them things like suitcases, clothing, toys, etc. But I don't have fear about raising enough money because I know 100% that this is what God wants for these girls. I have seen the hand of God throughout this whole experience - from choosing the girls to even now
What is the time-frame for the completion of the adoption?
We are just about done with the home study. At this point it should take about two-three months to be at the point where we travel to Ukraine. We expect to be in Ukraine for about 5 1/2 weeks and then we bring the girls home!
I understand you are fundraising in order to complete the adoption of these sisters. What type of fundraising are you doing and where can we donate? What will the donations be covering?
We have had yard-sales, bake sales and a $10 on 10/10 fundraiser. I have also been selling things on Facebook indoor yard-sales We have t-shirt sales ongoing. Currently I have been doing a Cartwheeling to Ukraine fundraiser which ends tomorrow. There is a story behind that one. L had a hard 1 1/2 days about a week into the trip. My husband and I worked with her and gave her as much love as we possibly could. She was getting through it and in the evening we took the two girls biking. We stopped at a church parking lot where the girls proceeded to do cartwheels. L wanted Jay to do one so he did. I stood there watching and just knew that if I did one too, it would really help with my bonding with L. So I channeled my inner 11-year-old and managed to do one. It really did do wonders for L and me. So we created a fundraiser where people pledge a certain amount per cartwheel that I manage to do in a row tomorrow. Next week we will start a 2nd cartwheel fundraiser where people send in pictures of themselves doing cartwheels along with a $10 donation. We will post the pictures on our Facebook page and will have several prizes for several people who get the most likes. We will have a $12 on 12/12/12 fundraiser also.
People can donate through the donate button on our blog: www.
Anything else you would like to add that these questions didn't cover?
I just want to add that while we still have a long way to go to raise the amount of money that we need, we have appreciated all the support that our friends, the community and total strangers are giving us. We will be eternally grateful to them.Do you have a blog that you would like to share with those reading this today? If so, what is the address of your blog?
We have a Triple Treasures From Ukraine facebook page also at https://www.facebook.com/
KSL ran a story recently at http://www.ksl.com/?nid=1009&
The Daily Herald ran a story just before we hosted at http://www.heraldextra.com/
My friend, who had hosted the Latvian boy, put together a wonderful video of the girls and our family here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
Friday, October 19, 2012
It's Been a While
I feel bad that I haven't written for a while. Things have been really busy for me. A new semester started and I am in a Creative Non-fiction writing class, an Intermediate Poetry writing class, and an Intermediate Algebra class. The combination of these classes means that I barely have time to sleep. Also, I am tutoring 5th graders in reading at a local elementary school. I'm trying to get other areas of my life in order as well, and so I've just had a lot of different things competing for my time. What I've realized is that I need to include making time for writing on this blog, because this blog is an outlet for me. It's a way for me to connect with people I care about and who care about open adoption. My lack of writing doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking a lot about what I would write about. And as usual, what I want to write about is hard to explain, but I will definitely try my hardest to say it.
My poetry class and my creative non-fiction class have really pushed my limits as far as writing and the construct behind writing. I've always felt like I was an "okay" writer of poetry, but this class has shown me that... there is a lot I didn't know. Ironically enough, I was more worried about going in to my creative non-fiction class because I didn't know what it would involve (this genre of writing is hard to define, therefore my hesitancy), but it's proven to be the class I am doing best in. As for math... I have nothing pleasant to say about it.
The semester is officially half-way over. And for the 8 weeks that have passed, I have been living in the land of memory because I've had to write a personal essay that was just critiqued in front of my entire class 2 days ago. Not all of it has been pleasant. For the next 7 weeks, I will continue residing in the land of memory, because I have another entire-class critique the week before finals.
I've been dealing with some other things on top of the stress of this semester. Something I haven't written about that I am going to mention right now is that back in April of this year I decided to separate ways with my family. I'm not going to go into the details of this decision on here, but I feel like it is necessary to let you all know because you all have been an important part in my growth and healing after placement, and honesty is important.
Simply put, this year has been hard. The decision I made in April, I made because I felt like I was disappearing. I can't describe that feeling. I was caught up in so many people's extreme emotions and I was trying to make it all better for everyone involved, and what it was doing to me was erasing me. It was at this time that I started considering that maybe I had a severe mental health disease because I didn't trust anyone, especially myself. So, I did something for myself. I shut myself off from all the confusion and I have been working through the confusion ever since.
I've been sorting through the confusion of my life and I'm better for it. For as hard as this year has been for me, I'm grateful for it. When you have people from every angle whispering insecurity in you and you lose your voice amidst all of the anger, that's when you begin to disappear. I cut off all the noise and I'm better for it. I'm more at peace with myself. I'm more secure in myself. I'm happier. I think that's hard for certain people to hear because they don't want to believe it, but it's true. I have a focused idea of where I want my life to go now and it's not competing with the whispers of everyone else. Sometimes I still hear echoes of the whispers because of the actions of others' and how they are still affecting my life in an attempt to gain control, but I know how to ignore them now, and I'm better off for it. Those people know who they are and I know how reading this post may make them feel, but that's not my problem anymore; it belongs with them.
I've been afraid to blog because everything I do right now is being analyzed by people who I really don't want to have contact with anymore. But, this is my blog. And these are my feelings. And I will not stop expressing them.
On that note, I'd like to share a poem I came across that I've been thinking about over the course of this semester so far. It is by Wislawa Szymborska who just recently passed away. She is a woman of Polish descent who survived the Holocaust. She has a beautiful way of expressing vulnerability and strength at the same time and I appreciate her poetry for that reason. Enjoy. The meaning is left up to you, that's the beauty of poetry (it is something for everyone); I already know what it means to me.
Under One Small Star
My apologies to change for calling it necessity.
My apologies to necessity if I'm mistaken, after all.
Please, don't be angry, happiness, that I take you as my due.
May my dead be patient with the way my memories fade.
My apologies to time for all the world I overlook each second.
My apologies to past loves for thinking that the latest is the first.
Forgive me, distant wars, for bringing flowers home.
Forgive me, open wounds, for pricking my finger.
I apologize for my record of minuets to those who cry from the depths.
I apologize to those who wait in railway stations for being asleep today at five a.m.
Pardon me, hounded hope, for laughing from time to time.
Pardon me, deserts, that I don't rush to you bearing a spoonful of water.
And you, falcon, unchanging year after year, always in the same cage,
your gaze always fixed on the same point in space,
forgive me, even if it turns out you were stuffed.
My apologies to the felled tree for the table's four legs.
My apologies to great questions for small answers.
Truth, please don't pay me much attention.
Dignity, please be magnanimous.
Bear with me, O mystery of existence, as I pluck the occasional thread from your train.
Soul, don't take offense that I've only got you now and then.
My apologies to everything that I can't be everywhere at once.
My apologies to everyone that I can't be each woman and each man.
I know I won't be justified as long as I live,
since I myself stand in my own way.
Don't bear me ill will, speech, that I borrow weighty words,
the labor heavily so that they may seem light.
-Wislawa Szymborska
My poetry class and my creative non-fiction class have really pushed my limits as far as writing and the construct behind writing. I've always felt like I was an "okay" writer of poetry, but this class has shown me that... there is a lot I didn't know. Ironically enough, I was more worried about going in to my creative non-fiction class because I didn't know what it would involve (this genre of writing is hard to define, therefore my hesitancy), but it's proven to be the class I am doing best in. As for math... I have nothing pleasant to say about it.
The semester is officially half-way over. And for the 8 weeks that have passed, I have been living in the land of memory because I've had to write a personal essay that was just critiqued in front of my entire class 2 days ago. Not all of it has been pleasant. For the next 7 weeks, I will continue residing in the land of memory, because I have another entire-class critique the week before finals.
I've been dealing with some other things on top of the stress of this semester. Something I haven't written about that I am going to mention right now is that back in April of this year I decided to separate ways with my family. I'm not going to go into the details of this decision on here, but I feel like it is necessary to let you all know because you all have been an important part in my growth and healing after placement, and honesty is important.
Simply put, this year has been hard. The decision I made in April, I made because I felt like I was disappearing. I can't describe that feeling. I was caught up in so many people's extreme emotions and I was trying to make it all better for everyone involved, and what it was doing to me was erasing me. It was at this time that I started considering that maybe I had a severe mental health disease because I didn't trust anyone, especially myself. So, I did something for myself. I shut myself off from all the confusion and I have been working through the confusion ever since.
I've been sorting through the confusion of my life and I'm better for it. For as hard as this year has been for me, I'm grateful for it. When you have people from every angle whispering insecurity in you and you lose your voice amidst all of the anger, that's when you begin to disappear. I cut off all the noise and I'm better for it. I'm more at peace with myself. I'm more secure in myself. I'm happier. I think that's hard for certain people to hear because they don't want to believe it, but it's true. I have a focused idea of where I want my life to go now and it's not competing with the whispers of everyone else. Sometimes I still hear echoes of the whispers because of the actions of others' and how they are still affecting my life in an attempt to gain control, but I know how to ignore them now, and I'm better off for it. Those people know who they are and I know how reading this post may make them feel, but that's not my problem anymore; it belongs with them.
I've been afraid to blog because everything I do right now is being analyzed by people who I really don't want to have contact with anymore. But, this is my blog. And these are my feelings. And I will not stop expressing them.
On that note, I'd like to share a poem I came across that I've been thinking about over the course of this semester so far. It is by Wislawa Szymborska who just recently passed away. She is a woman of Polish descent who survived the Holocaust. She has a beautiful way of expressing vulnerability and strength at the same time and I appreciate her poetry for that reason. Enjoy. The meaning is left up to you, that's the beauty of poetry (it is something for everyone); I already know what it means to me.
Under One Small Star
My apologies to change for calling it necessity.
My apologies to necessity if I'm mistaken, after all.
Please, don't be angry, happiness, that I take you as my due.
May my dead be patient with the way my memories fade.
My apologies to time for all the world I overlook each second.
My apologies to past loves for thinking that the latest is the first.
Forgive me, distant wars, for bringing flowers home.
Forgive me, open wounds, for pricking my finger.
I apologize for my record of minuets to those who cry from the depths.
I apologize to those who wait in railway stations for being asleep today at five a.m.
Pardon me, hounded hope, for laughing from time to time.
Pardon me, deserts, that I don't rush to you bearing a spoonful of water.
And you, falcon, unchanging year after year, always in the same cage,
your gaze always fixed on the same point in space,
forgive me, even if it turns out you were stuffed.
My apologies to the felled tree for the table's four legs.
My apologies to great questions for small answers.
Truth, please don't pay me much attention.
Dignity, please be magnanimous.
Bear with me, O mystery of existence, as I pluck the occasional thread from your train.
Soul, don't take offense that I've only got you now and then.
My apologies to everything that I can't be everywhere at once.
My apologies to everyone that I can't be each woman and each man.
I know I won't be justified as long as I live,
since I myself stand in my own way.
Don't bear me ill will, speech, that I borrow weighty words,
the labor heavily so that they may seem light.
-Wislawa Szymborska
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