I am Grateful for:
-The song "A Day Without Rain" by Enya: I am grateful for this song because it reminds me of a time when I felt the most secure and safe.
-My friends: I am grateful for my friends (they know who they are) because of their patience and kindness and because of no matter how frustrating I can be, they still love me.
-Leaving work early: Always a nice thing to get to do.
-A night of peaceful sleep: I am grateful for that moment when you are semi-conscious and completely aware of how comfortable you are and that you get to continue being that comfortable for a while longer.
-My dad: He fixed my car and bought the parts. He has saved me thousands of dollars over the years because of his help and I am grateful for him.
-My brother: He helped my dad to fix my car. He is so easy to talk to and he gives the best hugs. I gave him a hug goodbye and when I pulled away to go home, he pulled me in closer and hugged me longer and I really needed that. I'm grateful for his love.
-A moment of tranquility: I was swimming in my apartment's pool that is outdoors and I stared up at the mountains that still have snow on them and it was odd to me to be outdoors swimming when there is still snow in the mountains. But, the longer I stared at the mountains, it was like all the tension literally washed from my body and it was a wonderful moment. I'm grateful for that moment and for my ability to recognize it for what it was.
-The sun: The sun shone bright one day and it was so warm on my skin and nurturing. It felt nurturing and it made me happy and hopeful. I focused on all those things as I walked around outside and I want to always remember that moment because it was... a soft moment, if that makes sense. I felt like I was walking in softness and it was beautiful. This is another moment I'm grateful I was able to recognize.
-Swimming lessons: My dear friend Beauty taught me how to swim better because I was pretty much only capable of the doggy paddle and I had loads of fun.I have much more fun when I swim now because I actually swim rather than just wade.
-The rain: I've complained a lot about the rain lately, but as I checked my mail one evening I got a whiff of rain mixed with dirt and the sidewalk and flowers from somewhere. I love the combination of those smells. If only that smell could be captured in perfume. I love the way the rain surrounds you and revitalizes your spirit. I am grateful for the rain for as long as it should last because I know I'll miss it when it's gone.
-Therapy sessions: I am learning so much and I'm grateful for this. I am learning how to better react to difficult situations and it has already made all the difference in the world just since this last Tuesday. I am learning I impact those I love most depending on my reactions to them. And I'm learning alternatives to some of the negative ways that I react. I don't need to control every situation and the people in it, I just need to control how I respond and there is power and peace and joy in the control of my emotions. I'm grateful to learn this.
-Birth Mothers Group: I am grateful that I felt confident to share what I've learned with the girl in group who is currently pregnant. I felt a shift of... "emotional atmosphere", if you will, from when all the other birth mom's were bombarding this girl with their opinions to when I leaned across the table towards her and calmly asked her what her biggest fear was. That was the first time anyone listened to her and I felt this quieting moment as she gathered her thoughts to answer. And every time one of the other girls would cut her off, I would bring the dialogue back to her. I felt protective of her. I wanted her to feel like she had a voice in all of this; she needs to orate her story and she needs to figure out what her voice in all of this is and I wanted her to express it, I didn't want it to be told to her. I can't explain the shift of emotion, but I felt it and I am grateful because I was able to experience where I've come from, where I currently am, and where I want to be one day all within the same moment and it was beautiful. I'm grateful for that.
-Staying late at work (on occasion): Since I've started going back to therapy and attending group, I haven't been making my 40 hours per week. One night, we all stayed late at work because we had to finish a Procedural History to file with the court by the next morning and it was kind of fun to chill out with my boss and co-worker as we drafted and re-drafted the document. I'm grateful for this moment because I haven't always seen the niceties about my job. I've complained a lot about it and so I'm grateful that I am learning to notice the good moments when they come and they come a lot more often than I've previously realized. I'm grateful for staying late at work tonight because it will get me closer to my 40 hours this week.
Focusing on the things that I am grateful for and actively looking back on each day's activities and recognizing that there is much to be grateful for each day has helped me so much this last week. I am excited to see what I learn from the next week to come.
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