I've been a bit absent. My apologies. This semester has been truly intense. Granted I say that about every semester... but I assure you this is the last semester that I take to creative writing classes together. If only I could say this was the last semester I took a math class. Alas, I cannot say that. If all goes well this semester and I pass my math class, then next semester could potentially be the last semester I EVER have to take a math class again.
I just wanted to let you all know that I will be absent this week. Then again, there is that part of me that maybe be very present because of procrastination. We'll just have to see how it plays out. I will be in touch with you all soon.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Monday, November 26, 2012
Nimah Ismail Nawwab
The following poems have been on my mind a lot lately. They are both by a woman named Nimah Ismail Nawwab.
"Lost and Found?"
We lost the core
worship diligently
with minute, particular movements
wrapping touted diction
extolling the mundane without spirit
we lost the core
The Beloved's loved
the Great One's Mercy
the spiritual bond
are out of the equation
we lost the core
Who savors the fruit
and leaves the heart, core,
Reviving the essence
we embrace peace
and are devotees of Higher Love.
"The Arena"
Come,
come face to face
with yourself
rekindle the flame of truth
Look past the frayed, the marred
the strain of imposed dictated musts
let the chambers, walls and doors
implode into a new arena
where the face to face
brings forth a rebirth
and the Path Maker supersedes all.
"Lost and Found?"
We lost the core
worship diligently
with minute, particular movements
wrapping touted diction
extolling the mundane without spirit
we lost the core
The Beloved's loved
the Great One's Mercy
the spiritual bond
are out of the equation
we lost the core
Who savors the fruit
and leaves the heart, core,
Reviving the essence
we embrace peace
and are devotees of Higher Love.
"The Arena"
Come,
come face to face
with yourself
rekindle the flame of truth
Look past the frayed, the marred
the strain of imposed dictated musts
let the chambers, walls and doors
implode into a new arena
where the face to face
brings forth a rebirth
and the Path Maker supersedes all.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Where Do I Even Start?
(giant exhale).
The weird thing is... I can't stop thinking about weddings. I'm not engaged. I'm not dating anyone. Right now I'm working on figuring myself out because, in the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, "We must be our own before we can be another's."
That doesn't stop me from constantly thinking about weddings. And that's another weird thing is... I've never thought about weddings like I'm thinking about them now. I was always the kind of girl who just wanted to elope because, why bother with all the drama and details, when it should just be about you and the one you love? I'm learning now, that my thinking that was a little selfish. I'm not judging those who choose to elope. The closest I ever wanted to come to a formal wedding was when I considered going to the court house and being married by a judge... simple. White dress, the man I love, the wedding rings, a couple witnesses, the marriage license, a few spoken words from the heart... and then your done. True, for me, the focus was always about what came after the wedding. My own family. My life with my husband and growing our family together. That's all I've ever wanted and that's a worthy dream to focus on.
Here's the part I never thought of... how important a wedding may be for the other person involved. The opportunity to share with everyone you know, the love you have for the person you are "binding" yourself to. A celebration of your joy in your choice of companion. A time where everyone you know and care about enough to invite, comes and welcomes you off into the new phase of your existence with the one person you've always hoped to find, and have found. Those are really important things.
I almost that once. I'm not talking about with baby daddy. What I had with him was all lies and betrayal. I'm talking about another man that... has already taught me so much in this life by his example, alone. He wanted this big wedding with elaborate... everything... and I was so intimidated by all of it. I warmed up to it, for him because it was important to him. But I was scared of the "bigness"... of being noticed... of being recognized... I don't know how to explain it. All I know is that now, the "big" and very public wedding is all I want. It has nothing to do with the decorations or the location, or the theme... when I say "big", I'm not talking about inviting an entire city of people I don't know. It's about the joy. I want to share my joy with those I respect and appreciate are in my life. I want them to be a part of the ushering in of "the next step" in my life.
This is all a jumbled mess. I'm just barely starting to sort this new part of me out and, quite frankly, I don't know what to make of it. While I am a feminine woman who is soft spoken and trying to live as graceful a life as possible... I've never been the sort of woman who willingly shows her delicacy... and it's something I'm learning the balance of right now. For too long I've been stubborn and closed off... I'm opening up now, and this is one of the weird unexpected things that is surfacing and it's very new to me. It's giving me ideas of the theme color for next year, but I'm still researching it so I won't unveil it just yet. But, this has been on my mind enough lately that it was important to me to share it with you all. Here's to letting whatever comes next in life to unravel on it's own terms.
The weird thing is... I can't stop thinking about weddings. I'm not engaged. I'm not dating anyone. Right now I'm working on figuring myself out because, in the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, "We must be our own before we can be another's."
That doesn't stop me from constantly thinking about weddings. And that's another weird thing is... I've never thought about weddings like I'm thinking about them now. I was always the kind of girl who just wanted to elope because, why bother with all the drama and details, when it should just be about you and the one you love? I'm learning now, that my thinking that was a little selfish. I'm not judging those who choose to elope. The closest I ever wanted to come to a formal wedding was when I considered going to the court house and being married by a judge... simple. White dress, the man I love, the wedding rings, a couple witnesses, the marriage license, a few spoken words from the heart... and then your done. True, for me, the focus was always about what came after the wedding. My own family. My life with my husband and growing our family together. That's all I've ever wanted and that's a worthy dream to focus on.
Here's the part I never thought of... how important a wedding may be for the other person involved. The opportunity to share with everyone you know, the love you have for the person you are "binding" yourself to. A celebration of your joy in your choice of companion. A time where everyone you know and care about enough to invite, comes and welcomes you off into the new phase of your existence with the one person you've always hoped to find, and have found. Those are really important things.
I almost that once. I'm not talking about with baby daddy. What I had with him was all lies and betrayal. I'm talking about another man that... has already taught me so much in this life by his example, alone. He wanted this big wedding with elaborate... everything... and I was so intimidated by all of it. I warmed up to it, for him because it was important to him. But I was scared of the "bigness"... of being noticed... of being recognized... I don't know how to explain it. All I know is that now, the "big" and very public wedding is all I want. It has nothing to do with the decorations or the location, or the theme... when I say "big", I'm not talking about inviting an entire city of people I don't know. It's about the joy. I want to share my joy with those I respect and appreciate are in my life. I want them to be a part of the ushering in of "the next step" in my life.
This is all a jumbled mess. I'm just barely starting to sort this new part of me out and, quite frankly, I don't know what to make of it. While I am a feminine woman who is soft spoken and trying to live as graceful a life as possible... I've never been the sort of woman who willingly shows her delicacy... and it's something I'm learning the balance of right now. For too long I've been stubborn and closed off... I'm opening up now, and this is one of the weird unexpected things that is surfacing and it's very new to me. It's giving me ideas of the theme color for next year, but I'm still researching it so I won't unveil it just yet. But, this has been on my mind enough lately that it was important to me to share it with you all. Here's to letting whatever comes next in life to unravel on it's own terms.
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